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If you were looking for me, you reached me. If you don't know who 'me' is then you didn't reach who you were looking for.

If this is Red calling about jobs, just leave the information and I'll be there.

If this is Sis, then promise I'll get back to you ASAP. If you're got a recipe idea just tell me what it is and I'll look into it.

Otherwise leave your name and message and I'll contact you soon dears.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Dude, whores are nice. They gave me food sometimes. They get it. Wait... why is that entertaining and which brother?

Tell me about these friends of his. Maybe I can, like, tell you more. I'm learning how to pick locks and plant cameras!

D's friend. Used to be a gangster or a rebel, depending on who you ask. Someone told Sparky he's a whore but I talked to the guy and he's probably just a man-slut.

Then the soda can has a friend a couple years older than him who's less of a trainwreck. But I trust him.

Oh... Sorry to hear about D. As for Sodacan, that's good, right?"

Why are you sorry? I am all for sparkles getting laid as long as I don't have to watch.

Yeah, soda can having friends is always a good thing. Maybe he's just too emotionally mature to connect to kids his own age.

For one thing, not liking 'sparkles'. Sorry, just the way it is.

And maybe your sodacan's problem is that kids are jackasses.

That's one possibilty, yes.

I can be his friend if you want.

I appreciate the offer, kiwi, but it doesn't quite work like that. He needs to be able to get along with his peers without me interfering.

Fuck peers. I don't have friends my age and I'm good the way I am.

You are an adult interacting with other adults. He...has a lot of growing up to do.

Yeah, pretty sure my opinion on people my age hasn't changed since I was younger.

Did I tell you what I got?

Nope!

Shoes that light up.

Is that cool?

Kiwi, you have no idea.

Nope. I just got shoes that were easy. Ones that are durable.

These are durable. And they light up! Like ambulance flashers, on my feet.

That does sound kinda cool. I'm glad you got it.

Sparky's in the information department. He'd know better than I how to get started with the parts of mercenarying that doesn't involve blowing people up.